I am happily into the changing body of a my second trimester. I really thought I would publicly announce this happy news a lot earlier, but I have been too tired. I am a big advocate that woman share more about the trials and tribulations of conception and miscarriage, so that we can better understand as a society how hard it all is and bring more compassion to the table. Then, I successfully got pregnant and all my energy went to building teeny, tiny human.
Brain fog rolled in heavy, as do waves of nausea and morning sickness. As each day of the first trimester came and went, I made my "to do" lists and would get through it in a week, rather than a day. Sleep monsters pull me down and I nap when I need to nap, going to bed early and waking up late. I am really privileged in my ability to be able to simply sleep more when I am feeling fatigued. At thirty-eight years young, we have waited patiently for this, and I am able to prioritize really basic functioning over anything stressful.
The last two and a half years have been a difficult, beautiful, arduous, wonderful journey. I am so relieved to start experiencing life in the second trimester-- first trimesters have been very, very difficult for me. My second, going through the molar pregnancy was abysmal in comparison to this-- so I have a little more grace in dealing with the textbook symptoms of the first twelve weeks.
I allowed myself to be anxious, trepidatious, and reserved for the first three months of this pregnancy, while also enjoying aspects of each day although I haven't felt unfettered excitement until now. There have been so many little successes, and I have held each one so precious: the first positive pregnancy test; each and every subsequent day of still being in a pregnant brain fog, filled with queasiness, nausea, fatigue, and hunger (sounds pleasant, doesn't it?); a little gummy bear on the ultrasound with a great heart beat (I cried a little with relief and happiness); normal chromosomal testing; hitting the mark for month three; belly growing and clothing options changing.
Medically, socially, financially, I recognize that too many women don't have this advantage. Prenatal care has just a matter of a phone call to schedule an appointment with one of the best ob/gyns in my area. My family and friends are so excited, so supportive and so encouraging that I unplug, eat when I need to eat and sleep when I need to sleep. My partner is keeping the backend of our home moving smoothly, while also learning how to cook some of my grandmother's dishes when a craving arises. We already have a village supporting us. I wish these simple aspects of support for every woman in every pregnancy.