I have been told that if you chant to Shiva, the destroyer, be ready to have something in your life shatter. Two weeks ago I gave it my all for Mahā Shivarātri, the great night of Shiva. I chanted over and over and over again. I played chants while I worked, I meditated. And then I let it go. Peace seemed to reign.
In the meantime, I have been re-reading and engaging in the creative workbook "The Artists' Way" by Julia Cameron after having explored it ten years ago. Some chapters and exercises resonate, some are un-necessary for me now. I got to the section that asks, what are your self-limiting beliefs? And here too, I felt content and grateful for the life that I lead, for the work I get to call a career and couldn't identify self-limiting beliefs.
So I held this question "what are my self-limiting beliefs?"I continued to chant, meditate and write daily and asked the question over and over and over again.
Then an unexpected disappointment sent me spiraling into a nasty funk. I was angry, disappointed and frustrated. I was quite unpleasant to be around. For three days, I continued to get wound up and taught. During this time, I forgot about the chanting and the question I was holding.
My disappointment was rooted in the belief that the more money I make, the more professional and successful I am. I spent close to a decade living the starving artist dream and learning how to hustle, so I could "prove" to the universe that I am good at what I do. And it is now time to let it go that the money I make defines my success or failure.
Today I was introduced to the work of Lynne Twist, author of "The Soul of Money" and invited to her workshop this weekend. The synchronicity feels nothing less than divine.
What are your dreams? And are you the only one standing in your own way?